As we prepare for yet another move, I am asking myself again why people get married. It really just doesn't make sense to me. Then, when I "politely discuss" my aggravations with friends, I find they are going through the exact same crap! Are we really supposed to be with one person for most of our life? I don't think people got this one right. It's a long life we live (hopefully) and getting married seems to be more like a life sentence than happily ever after. Let me be clear...I am not specifically talking about my marriage here, just marriage in general. I mean obviously I wouldn't be writing this if I didn't think marriage was hard, but this isn't a cry for help or anything like that; so please, no interventions.
Most people marry in their 20's...after college and after we get jobs, apartments, houses, whatever. Marriage seems to be the next thing to do. I see 20 something year olds now and I think how in the hell could someone at that age have good enough judgment to pick one person they want to be with forever. It's not logical. Nearly all of my friends have married good people, but almost all of them would rather take a bullet than spend alone time with their spouse. Again, these are good people - obviously everyone has faults though and those faults intensify day after day after day after day after day. And then the faults multiply. Eventually you have to hit a breaking point and say, "ENOUGH ALREADY." And then you're miserable and you make the other person unhappy and you don't even care. When I got engaged, everyone was congratulatory and happy for us. Today, when my friends (the single ones who are left) get engaged, I send them a warning. Most don't listen and then after the excitement is over and they see how irrational marriage really is, I am not above saying, "I told you so." From now on, when I know someone is getting married, I'll be sending a card of sentiment instead of congratulate.
you know i got to put the "Regista" on this one!
ReplyDeleteHey Jen,
You got some cool and funny stuff going on on dis here, but on dis one here, the Regista wants to speak! So on that note let me move to the side, grab a seat, and let him flow. So on that note wegotdis!
You ask the question, "why do people get married", well for me, and I'm sure for many others, you just don't want to be alone! It's a big enough task just to live in this world, and with all the ups and downs we go through, its just not good to be alone. You can do a lot better with two instead of one. And it's good to know you got someone's back while they'll have yours! Allowing you to be able to say to your spouse, wegotdis!
Now let me be the one to tell you, I am one of the many, that did the marriage thing for all the wrong reasons! So no! I didn't get that one right, but the weighter matter is that I learned from it! The lesson I learned is what I wanna share with you. So know I am talking to you and not about you! It goes like this:
I think the only reason why marriage is what it is today, is because a lot of people that get married, stop giving to the one they married. I'm not talking about sex either.(get your mind rite and think with me)What I'm talking about is the greatest element to life which is love! So many people go into marriage thinking "its all about me" when really its not at all about you! It should be all about the person you married, and what you can do to GIVE that person the dream we all chase! The only way to do so is to become a giver. Picture two people that are always giving to each other, all you see is both people always happy! And with that you have a union that won't break! So instead of sending a warning, tell them to start becoming a giver. A giver of love! Love covers everything. If they learn to give now, before they get married, when times get rough in the marriage, and you know they will, they can fall back to what they know. What they know is to give! When you're a giver with honor and respect and love, then you'll be happy ever after! It took for me to go through a divorce for me to get this. Now that i know it and got it. I can't wait to get married! Yet its a hold for me cause I'm still learning my new self due to the accident. I hope you feel me on this Jen! Let me know if you don't, and don't worry about hurting me. You can't cause in my eyes you got it going on! Been married for 10 years, got the family thing going, and moving all over the country!
let me hear you,
wegotdis!!
Reg, it's been 8 years and you need your own blog. xo
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