Sunday, August 30, 2009

Are you there God? It's me, Emma...you know the one who doesn't like you.

I really am not ready to discuss the God thing with Emma. I don't know what to believe myself, let alone teach her. So we have avoided it altogether. That IS the parental thing to do. Today she decided to go to church with her aunt. She works in the daycare there so I figured no harm.

Wrong.

Reportedly, they gave a little handout with pictures to the kids and told a story about God. EMMA PUTS HER HANDS OVER HER EARS while the story is being told. Katie asked Emma why she is putting her hands on her ears and Emma responded that she doesn't like the story and doesn't like the people. So tonight I asked Emma why she didn't like the story. She had two answers. First, she doesn't like the clothes they were wearing. Secondly, she doesn't like God because she doesn't like how he looks.
Unconvincingly, I explained that that's all they had to wear back then and it's not nice to not like God because he gave her life (nevermind my 9 mos of hell) and gave us the trees and everything in the world. Now...I don't know that I believe this so I wasn't really sure why I was telling her this. I guess I feel like 5 yrs old might be a little young to become an atheist and anything else might be too confusing. 
The moral of my story ended up being that we don't not like people based on how they look because we're all the same on the inside. Which I absolutely do believe. Pretty much anyway. 
I must tell you what happened to me last week. I've had a metal cross/crucifix that has hung on my wall throughout my childhood. Well, I unpacked  it and it was broken which is weird since it's metal. So I left it somewhere...I can't remember. I found it last week and it was FIXED!!! It was so bizarre. I tried to take it apart...I pulled it, twisted it, swung it around, and it was definitely not coming apart. I fix everything in this house so I knew Scott wouldn't have touched it. Especially since it is a crucifix...he doesn't usually have much to do with stuff like that. So for a few days, I started thinking "There is a God!" and was completely freaked out. Finally, I asked Scott about it. He glued it. Unbelievable. He never does stuff like that. Freaking figures. He ruins everything.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Will work for....work.


Okay, I haven't been working for a month now. And before that, it was very sporadic. I don't like this. My goal was never to be a housewife or a stay at home mom or whatever you want to call it. I would hate to work in an office again though and LOVE my situation with working from home. But I'm not built for this housewife garbage. I don't do laundry. I don't like to clean. I try to organize, which I actually like to do, but organization usually leads to a bigger mess. For example, I cleaned the closet Friday. Maybe it was Thursday. Anyway, I took everything out and replaced things neatly back in the closet. Then, I had all this extra stuff I don't know what to do with. That's right. I said "don't", as in present tense. Because it's still sitting outside of the closet. I realize we've only lived in this house for about a month, but when we unpacked, I put all of the stuff I didn't have a place for in the closet. That's kinda a lot of stuff. Today, I painted the girls' bathroom. I really wanted to quit because it took way longer than I had planned and I get bored easily, but my brother was helping so I kept telling him I thought I was going to pass out and leaving the room for as long as I could without him becoming suspicious. A lot more got done that way. Typically, I like to paint and hang things up and move furniture around. I guess I was just extra tired today. Maybe from the closet cleaning. Or maybe from laying on the beach yesterday. Both are equally exhausting really. I do like to cook and I really appreciate the time I have now to put some thought into my dinner. Unfortunately, Scott isn't fond of the vegetarian meals so my dinners really don't benefit him...at all, I suppose. I would like to share a really good vegetarian idea with you now. This is what you do: Drizzle olive oil in a pan. Add chopped eggplant, mushrooms, roasted red peppers, sun-dried tomatoes and mushrooms. You can also add other veggies like zucchini, squash, onion, whatever. Saute that for a little while. Oh and garlic, too. Then put it on either a wrap or bread or you can put it on an english muffin for a little pizza. I put it on a multi-grain sandwich thin. Then, put mozzarella and bleu cheese on top and put it under the broiler until it's melted. Yum-O.
So, you see, I'm pretty sure I would get fired at this if it was possible. I really just want some meetings to plan. Please, recession, end. My motivation only lasts for so long when it comes to this housework stuff. Shopping has obviously been an outlet, but that can be a problem and is really a whole different blog.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Rain, rain, STAY


I love the rain. It rains everyday here and I absolutely love it. Almost nothing makes me happier than to look out the window and see the rain pouring down, gray sky, and thunder is a bonus. I don't use an umbrella - I like to feel the rain on me and I like the way everyone looks when they're in the rain. It's very....movie-like. What's not so hot is my hair after it dries. Like right now. It's flat and stuck to my head. Why can't the rain give my hair body and oomph...or at least not cling to my face. That would make for a happy ending.

Shockingly, rain puddles are a negative. I don't like my shoes getting wet.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Mini Me

I took Emma to school this morning and the neighbors were getting ready to leave at the same time so I asked if he wanted to just ride with us. He did. On the way to school, he and Emma were talking about school. I asked if he was liking school and he said yes. Emma said that she doesn't like gym. (already??) The boy asked how she can't like gym...all they do is exercise. Emma responded, "Yeah, and I do not like doing that." Oh, the pride of being a parent of a child who is EXACTLY like you.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

No Smoking at the Dinner Table

The neighbor girl was over playing with Emma and we invited her to stay for dinner. I made organic macaroni and cheese for the girls and sat down to talk to them. The little girl is very sweet and has very good manners, "Yes, ma'am. No ma'am. Ma'am?" It's adorable and I feel like I'm in Steel Magnolias. Then Emma reminds I'm not. She says, "I think I'm gonna smoke when I get big." Err... Really? Really, Emma? You want to smoke? That's fine, I tell her. I'm sorry to tell you though that all your pretty pink insides are going to turn black and ashy. It's really gross. She giggles, grosses out, and changes her mind, but I'm worried now that the little girl is going to tell her mom about our dinner conversation. I've talked to her many times and she is very nice so I felt like I would tell her in case this comes up out of the blue and sounds that much worse coming from a kindergartener. She laughs in shock and then tells me that when Emma was over there for dinner, they hold hands and say the blessing. She didn't want to freak Emma out and told her she didn't have to do it. Emma agreed to opt out. Yes, I'm sure she did. Because she is the anti-christ.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Too hot for teacher


This week I met Emma's teachers. It's very sad to me that she is going to be in school everyday all day for the next 13 years. Our life as we have known it is changing. Sometimes (most of the time) I'm not that good with conforming so this is going to be a challenge, not only for her, but for me also. Emma is not very excited about this school thing. She said all she wants is to be a rockstar and to slide down from the top of the rainbow. So, see, she really doesn't need school. I hated school...so I feel her pain. She has to go though. It's either that or she lives with me forever, doesn't grow, and we end up on Dr Phil. And I really can't stand that guy. So anyway, I was getting ready to go to the parents only meeting and Emma is following me around the house and into the bathroom. "Mom, wait, stop! I want you to wear that dress! And put your hair down." What?! The 5 yr old is concerned about the way I'm going to look when I go to meet her teachers!!! I have done everything right with this girl. I tell her I AM wearing the dress and yes, I am planning on doing my hair - we had been swimming that day so I didn't think looking like a hot mess was the way I wanted to start off with her kindergarten teachers. So I fixed my hair, put some bracelets and earrings on and was ready...with her approval. Jesus. As I drove to the school by myself I started getting terrible anxiety about the way I looked! I started to fear that maybe it was too much...I don't want to look like a hussy! My dress was absolutely not too short though and was not revealing in any kind of way. Hair - tousled and although it took a lot of work, looked like it didn't - perfect. Jewelry - just enough, not too much. What if the other mothers don't like me? What if the teachers judge Emma based on me? Well, obviously they will anyway, but I want it to be a GOOD judgment. I was short of breathe and felt like it was my first day of college. Did Emma do this to me? Did her judgment on me make me feel more self conscious? Was it you, baby tiger? I don't know, but I haven't felt like that in a LONG time. Perhaps, it was the whole idea of her going to school, the new responsibilities, the new relationships, and of course, first impressions. Anyway, I walked into her classroom, met her teachers and then sat in the mini chair at the mini table for the parents meeting. My seat? In the front. Fortunately, I was over it all the minute I stepped in to the classroom. The anticipation is always the biggest part. Just like Christmas...the exciting part is the month leading up to it. The actual day is usually a bore. So I walked out of there feeling good about it and both excited and nervous for Emma. She has to wear uniforms to school - blue, beige, and white. Those colors are awful and if she was worried about my appearance, she is going to HATE what she has to wear. I also walked out of there something I never, ever dreamed I would be. Are you ready for this? I. Am the room mother. I have no idea what that means, but it was one of a few things to sign up for by the time the sign up sheet got to me. I think it's pretty important though. It was the first thing on the list and only space enough for one parent. Shit.

Monday, August 3, 2009

I took a shower with a cockroach today...

No, I don't mean Scott. Although I would like to squish him just the same.
I was taking a shower today, looked down to get shampoo and through my uncorrected vision spotted a huge black cockroach. Like the size of my thumb, from my bottom knuckle to the top of my thumb. Huge. I screamed like I was being attacked, which isn't far from reality, jumped out of the shower still screaming, woke up the baby, and Scott finally came into the bathroom as I stood there dripping wet still screaming that there is a humongo cockroacho in the shower. He grabbed a tissue and tried to catch it. What... a dumbass. You can't CATCH a cockroach. Grab a shoe and smash that sucker. I don't know how he killed it because I couldn't stay and watch, but I will never, ever be able to shower with peace of mind. In fact, I'm sure months have been taken off my life by the simple fear of another one attacking. I thought snakes, alligators and sharks were the biggest of my fears. Apparently not.
Other than those things, Alabama has been alright...I can't really complain. Okay, well, I'm sure I can, but I don't have to. I don't want to be a complainer. I read in my People mag that some hot celeb said he hates complainer girls, so I took a moment of self reflection to see if I'm one of those. I came to the conclusion that I'm not. I have a lot to say...and I say what I think, be it positive or negative. I don't think that makes me a complainer. It makes me observant and honest. But I'm a happy person and I would rather see the positive side of things so that makes me not a complainer. Anyway, I am enjoying this experience so far. There are a lot of fun things to do. We are so close to the beach and it's very pretty here. I like it. We finally found a house, moved in one week ago and I have been crazy busy unpacking, painting, decorating, and making it our home. I haven't been to zumba in 2 weeks tho and I miss pretending to be a latin dancer...which isn't hard to do since there are no mirrors. And when you fixate on the instructor for so long, you actually start to believe you look like she does. It's great for self image.
So I've met many people....all very pleasant. Every single one of them have one thing in common. They have ALL invited us to their churches. Why?? I don't WANT to go to church. I don't do it, don't believe in it, and think it is a bit of a convo killer. Can't we just do dinner or something? Why do I have to go to church in order to see you? I just want to hang out. Finally, one of my neighbors came over and she asked me if I met someone. I told her yes and that she invited me to her church. I then went on to tell her every person in Baldwin County has invited me to their church and I can't remember all of the people and their churches. All I want is to have friends to go to the beach with...have dinner with...drink with...whatever. So I spilled it and I picked the right person to spill to (never end a sentence with a preposition...it's my biggest pet peave, but I can't avoid it in this case. Oh wait...yes I can. Let me rephrase.) All I want is to have friends with whom to go to the beach....to dinner...to have a drink...whatever. So I spilled it and I picked the right person to whom to spill. THANKFULLY, she agreed. She said they are the heathens of the neighborhood and we could hang out on Sunday mornings. Whew. Close call.
That's the Alabaman update for now. I'm confident I'll have more very soon.