Oh no she didnt!! Yep, she did.

Warning...I'm getting somewhat political here. So stop here if you're politically sensitive (and a republican). I don't want to lose any fans (I only have 5)...oops, those are followers, not fans...so I promise not to do this very much. However, I have to say how disgusted I am in the lack of respect shown for President Obama. Democrats are as guilty as Republicans (somewhat...maybe not AS much...whatever, it's my blog!). Those fair weather Demmies.
It starts with Joe Wilson shouting at Obama during his speech. Who heckles the President....AND gets away with it? A reporter chucked his shoes at Bush and the guy gets prison time for several months. But a Congressman disrespects the President in the middle of a televised speech and there's no consequence? I love how the republicans blast Obama of lying about his health care plan - did they already forget about the lies from the previous administration that got us into this war in the first place? - I'm censoring myself right here because I don't want to get this far into politics.-
Then Fox decides not to air his speech.
And then Obama addresses school age children about the importance of education or whatever and then schools across the nation decide not to show it. Really. Emma's school included - obviously, I'm in the South. What more can I expect, but it still really pisses me off.
Here is my conclusion. It is my opinion that Obama is the most disrespected President so early in his term. Yes, Bush was disrespected, but not this much in the beginning of his term. I even supported him...and almost voted for him (thank God I didn't). Later in his term...yes, but he also proved himself to be a total idiot. So he earned it.
This is absolutely a race thing. It's ugly and pathetic, but it's the truth. Now I want people to own up and fix it.

Okay, so it wasn't "somewhat" political.

The VMA's

Okay. Listen up. I've been without internet for awhile, and although I could have gotten online at the library, parents' house, etc, I haven't. I took a somewhat forced break. I've painted my ass off, cooked my ass back on, and gone to bed before 10pm. I've weathered some ups and downs, but I'm back and I have a lot to say. I just hope I can get it all out of my head...in order.
Rewind to two weeks ago. The VMA's. Pink and Shakira show up in the same dress. What designer puts two celebrities in the SAME dress on the SAME night for a HUGE event such as the VMA's? Secondly, what designer is stupid enough to risk pissing off Pink??  Big mistake putting 2 celebs in the same dress. I can't get over it. And it has been two weeks.
Speaking of fashion, what. the. hell was up with Lady Gaga? I can't begin to understand her message, her artistry, whatever...  She looked ridiculous. She acted like a freak. And it was super awkward watching her flirt with Kermit the Frog. And then she took the stage. Fake blood (I think), hanging herself (I wished), and shouting something about the paparazzi (I've never seen her in the tabloids once).  Her costumes were as disturbing and I would have been super pissed if I had to sit behind her. Then appears Perez Hilton behind her and I thought, "Perfect", as he stood there in his own clown suit.
Back to Pink. I love her. Love, love, love, love, love her. For a minute I thought maybe she was lip syncing, because who can sing upside down, doing a trapeze act? Pink can, that's who. Oh and I'm so glad she's back with Carey Hart.
Can those loser Jackson brothers, their scumbag father, and sister LaToya make anymore appearances? LaToya actually guest hosted on The View! How much more obvious can it be that they're monopolizing over Michael's death. Gross. I loved the tribute to him and understand their presence in that way, but they are looking more for an opportunity than a nod of sympathy. Jermaine was at Dancing with the Stars with Marie Osmond! Ew...those yucky people!  Poor Janet. She seems to be the only Jackson with a life. And a heart.
Obviously, Kanye West made an ass out of himself. Again. The media went crazy over it and while I absolutely think he was way out of line, he was not out of character. So was it really a shock? Not really. Poor Taylor Swift. That 6 ft, ostrich looking girl had her moment ripped from her hands. As if she's not awkward enough, she stood there trying to speak into the mic, but the sound was off by then (a little late), and then she didn't know what to do. What a stinking jerk, that Kanye West.
I will admit that I cried when Beyonce gave her her moment back, but I always cry at these awards shows.

I pick you, and you, and you....aaand.....you.

I don't know what has happened to me. When we were moving here I thought about all of the different ways I would meet people and the new friends to be made. Since we have been here, I have met several people, all very nice and normal - people I could probably befriend. Some have called or emailed me and I've conversed a little that way. But truly.....I'm not that interested.  Maybe it's laziness. Maybe I don't feel a real connection. I don't know what it is exactly, but if it doesn't feel natural to me, then I just don't want to put the effort forward. This is creating a very lonely life for me. I need friends...I need to be around people. But not just anyone. I crave meaningful relationships. I want to be around people who are relatable, funny, understand my humor....are essentially effortless. That's probably rare to find and may not be found in the beginning of a relationship, but then again why not.

Exhibit 1: Emma had a bday party to attend earlier this week. She wanted Scott to take her and that worked out great for me. I adore the mother of the boy who's bday it was. She is probably one person I can be around and feel myself and not have to be careful of what might come out of my mouth - mostly anyway. But a bday party meant other mothers and a lot of small talk, which I'm just not interested in and am not even that good at pretending. So Scott went and was the only dad. Hee hee...

I'm trying to find a place here, I guess. I've never fit in with one group of people though and I've never felt as ostracized as I do here. It's my own fault. I am a little jaded by the conservatism, the church at every corner, Emma's new kindergarten class, and the stupid school district deciding NOT to show Obama's speech and knowing that if he was a white republican, it would be mandated.  

I need to just get over it. I am going to do that today. Or maybe tomorrow. By Monday, at least.

Michael Jackson

I realize my response is a little delayed, but, at the time of his death, I was self consumed with my move and my feelings about his death were so mixed, I really couldn't blog properly. Now....my feelings are clear.

As clear as they'll ever be anyway.

I was packing my house away when I got a call from my aunt that Michael had died. I didn't believe her because I just always kind of assume she doesn't really know what's going on. So I turn on MSNBC and sure enough, she was wrong. He was in cardiac arrest. I didn't know exactly what that meant, but if he's in it, he's still alive. Then, a few minutes later they reported that he was dead. So she wasn't entirely wrong. I stood there watching the TV. Somewhat in disbelief, but mostly I didn't feel that much at all. I felt much sadder when Anna Nicole Smith died. Very odd, I know.

After much deliberation, I know why I didn't feel anything for Michael. To me, he had died long before his actual death. The studded glove wearing, moon walking, jheri curled guy I adored and whose posters I hung in my bedroom as a teenager was gone a long time ago.

I never paid much attention to the molestation charges. I don't really think he did it. I didn't even care too much when he dangled his baby over the balcony. Yeah, it was definitely strange, but I'm sure he wasn't trying to purposely endanger his child. I cared more about what he did to his face. To intentionally have plastic surgery after surgery and screw up his face so badly interprets into much deeper issues than those "mishaps". I might be minimizing a little with mishaps, but what I mean is those other things weren't intentional (or, in my opinion, true).

Maybe I'm more forgiving now that he's dead, but it puts things into perspective for me. The Pepsi fire started an addiction. His dad created a terribly insecure boy. His fame made him an extremely lonely person. So, you see, a lot of major things made Michael Jackson the freak he ended up being. And I say that with the utmost empathy. 

Anyway, there is so much that can be said about this, but the point is Michael Jackson died a long time ago in my eyes. That is much sadder to me than his actual death.

Ironically, my favorite MJ song is Man in the Mirror.

Triple Threat

I am not allowed to leave the house. I have a problem.

I know it's natural for girls to love to shop. However, my enjoyment for the sport is anything but natural. I love the grocery store. I can spend half of a day in the grocery store. There are so many new things you find if you really take the time to look at all of your options. When we lived in IL, I lived for Hilander. I was really worried I wouldn't find a grocer that would fulfill me the same way. The employees know my name. I had to distract Emma because she would point at them and say, "Mom, there's your best friend John." Emma, not everyone I talk to is my best friend, okay? Would you please STOP shouting that across the store? Well, I haven't found a replacement because that would be impossible, but I have a store that I love and makes me feel exuberant. They even separate all the organic foods in EACH aisle. They EVEN have a fountain pop dispenser so you can drink while you shop. I don't like pop though so that part is kind of useless to me, but I appreciate the effort. They want you to be comfortable while you shop. OH! Once, the bagger boy started carrying my bags outside. I was confused and asked what he was doing and he said he was taking my bags out to my car. I tried to take them from him, but he wouldn't let me take them.

Do you know how easy it is to spend hours in Home Depot? And the people are so nice and helpful. Which is sometimes annoying. Just because I'm walking around looking at everything doesn't mean I'm lost. Intentions are good though. I have painted nearly my whole house in Flat Enamel. I NEVER would have considered using flat paint, but due to the time I have spent at Home Depot, I have learned that Flat Enamel is not the same as Flat. It actually looks very nice and is washable and a lot cheaper than the other paints.

The trouble I got into yesterday was due to the fact that Home Depot, Pier 1, and Hobby Lobby were all super close to one another. Now I'm trying to figure out if Scott would be more upset if I just shopped at one store at a time and only came home with one big receipt or shopped at several different stores and spent a little at each store, but have a bunch of receipts. It seems the latter seems to get me into more trouble. Actually, both do. I need to figure this out.

It actually kind of adds to the fun of it all.