I haven't been one to stay in one place for very long. Shocking, I know. I haven't decided if it's a psychological problem I might have or just a desire for change. It might be both. Who knows. I can't allow myself to think about it long enough to figure it out. How's that for issues.
So I say this with HEAVY hesitation because I know the backlash which is about to take place. But, I have to put it out there because it's weighing heavier on my heart.
I had a revelation the other day...some may call it a meltdown...I prefer revelation. But I might want to move again.
I like it here. I like the community, the people, the school. It's beautiful, really. But I feel so far removed.
That's it. I really don't have anymore to say about it. Without getting sick to my stomach.
Disclaimer: The writer is not responsible for questions regarding when, how, why, what, where as those are all unknown.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Having kids is hard.
Emma got punched in the face at school today.
As awful as that sounds, it's also kind of funny. I mean, what 5 year old little girl gets punched in the face? I asked her what happened and she said, "Pretend I'm Jeremiah and you're me." Uh....no thanks. You got punched in the eye. I'm not "pretending" to get punched by you. So yes, she got punched by a boy in her class, who walked up to her and punched her in the eye.
The thing is Emma really is a nice girl. Especially at school. So I really don't think she deserved to get punched. And this kid has been trouble since Christmas break. I do kind of hope this means she will stop threatening to punch me though.
Rewind to last week. I picked her up from school and she said,
"Mom, Mason said to me, "You're hot" and not the kind of hot where you feel my head to see if I'm sick."
"Oh really? What other kind of hot is there?"
"The kind where he wants to maaaaarry me."
The next day, with a huge smile:
"Mom, I think I am falling in love with Kip."
"What do you mean you're falling in love with Kip?"
"I keep staring at him. We are going to get married!"
And then the next day was just, "I love boys!"
Why in the hell would God give me two girls? I seriously hope Olivia is a lesbian.
As awful as that sounds, it's also kind of funny. I mean, what 5 year old little girl gets punched in the face? I asked her what happened and she said, "Pretend I'm Jeremiah and you're me." Uh....no thanks. You got punched in the eye. I'm not "pretending" to get punched by you. So yes, she got punched by a boy in her class, who walked up to her and punched her in the eye.
The thing is Emma really is a nice girl. Especially at school. So I really don't think she deserved to get punched. And this kid has been trouble since Christmas break. I do kind of hope this means she will stop threatening to punch me though.
Rewind to last week. I picked her up from school and she said,
"Mom, Mason said to me, "You're hot" and not the kind of hot where you feel my head to see if I'm sick."
"Oh really? What other kind of hot is there?"
"The kind where he wants to maaaaarry me."
The next day, with a huge smile:
"Mom, I think I am falling in love with Kip."
"What do you mean you're falling in love with Kip?"
"I keep staring at him. We are going to get married!"
And then the next day was just, "I love boys!"
Why in the hell would God give me two girls? I seriously hope Olivia is a lesbian.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
You're HOW old?
For all my life, no one ever believed my age. I've heard, "There's no way you have a child!" and "You don't look old enough!" more times than I can count. For the most part it annoyed me, but I also knew I should appreciate it as well.
Well, not anymore.
Last night I went out with a couple friends. We met some other girls and were talking to them. They were there for Spring Break. The older two were related to the younger girls in their group so I just assumed they were tagging along for their Spring Break. As we talked, they said they were in school full time and didn't work. I thought, "Hmm...still in school. These are lifers trying to regain their youth." They looked older than me...or older than what I think I look.
Finally, I asked their ages. They...were 25 years old. These girls have been living life hard. I laughed at first thinking they were joking, and then realized they weren't and I quickly needed to figure out a way to turn my laughter into something else. I love those situations. It was an "Oh I was just thinking about something funny that happened earlier today" moment.
What isn't funny is that they guessed me to be 28 and when I told them I was 33, they didn't bat an eye. I was waiting for, "No way!" but it was more of a patronizing, "Oh, really.." What I wanted to say was, "Listen, bitches. You look like you have been worn and put away wet. Don't patronize me with that "28, oh really" bull shit."
Why don't people say I look younger than what I am anymore??? I want that. I miss that! I won't take it for granted anymore...I promise! I don't want to be younger, I just want to look it. And I'm worried that these children I have are aging me much quicker than I'm willing to go. Don't think I won't use that college savings to get a little work done.
If only they had a college savings.
After getting home at 3:30 in the morning and getting up at 7:00, I remembered that I really am 33. I look it, I feel it, I am it. I was surprised to find myself really alert and motivated this morning. It was like a false sense of energy came over me. I showered, cleaned, made plans to go to the market today, but by noon I was zombified. If someone shot me in the face, twice, I would probably have felt about the same. While 33 may not be old, it sure as hell is too old to be getting only 3 hours of sleep.
My name is Jennifer Leathers and I'm 33 years old. And I look it.
Ouch.
Well, not anymore.
Last night I went out with a couple friends. We met some other girls and were talking to them. They were there for Spring Break. The older two were related to the younger girls in their group so I just assumed they were tagging along for their Spring Break. As we talked, they said they were in school full time and didn't work. I thought, "Hmm...still in school. These are lifers trying to regain their youth." They looked older than me...or older than what I think I look.
Finally, I asked their ages. They...were 25 years old. These girls have been living life hard. I laughed at first thinking they were joking, and then realized they weren't and I quickly needed to figure out a way to turn my laughter into something else. I love those situations. It was an "Oh I was just thinking about something funny that happened earlier today" moment.
What isn't funny is that they guessed me to be 28 and when I told them I was 33, they didn't bat an eye. I was waiting for, "No way!" but it was more of a patronizing, "Oh, really.." What I wanted to say was, "Listen, bitches. You look like you have been worn and put away wet. Don't patronize me with that "28, oh really" bull shit."
Why don't people say I look younger than what I am anymore??? I want that. I miss that! I won't take it for granted anymore...I promise! I don't want to be younger, I just want to look it. And I'm worried that these children I have are aging me much quicker than I'm willing to go. Don't think I won't use that college savings to get a little work done.
If only they had a college savings.
After getting home at 3:30 in the morning and getting up at 7:00, I remembered that I really am 33. I look it, I feel it, I am it. I was surprised to find myself really alert and motivated this morning. It was like a false sense of energy came over me. I showered, cleaned, made plans to go to the market today, but by noon I was zombified. If someone shot me in the face, twice, I would probably have felt about the same. While 33 may not be old, it sure as hell is too old to be getting only 3 hours of sleep.
My name is Jennifer Leathers and I'm 33 years old. And I look it.
Ouch.
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