You're HOW old?

For all my life, no one ever believed my age. I've heard, "There's no way you have a child!" and "You don't look old enough!" more times than I can count. For the most part it annoyed me, but I also knew I should appreciate it as well.

Well, not anymore.

Last night I went out with a couple friends.  We met some other girls and were talking to them. They were there for Spring Break. The older two were related to the younger girls in their group so I just assumed they were tagging along for their Spring Break. As we talked, they said they were in school full time and didn't work. I thought, "Hmm...still in school. These are lifers trying to regain their youth." They looked older than me...or older than what I think I look.

Finally, I asked their ages. They...were 25 years old. These girls have been living life hard. I laughed at first thinking they were joking, and then realized they weren't and I quickly needed to figure out a way to turn my laughter into something else. I love those situations. It was an "Oh I was just thinking about something funny that happened earlier today" moment.

What isn't funny is that they guessed me to be 28 and when I told them I was 33, they didn't bat an eye. I was waiting for, "No way!" but it was more of a patronizing, "Oh, really.." What I wanted to say was, "Listen, bitches. You look like you have been worn and put away wet. Don't patronize me with that "28, oh really" bull shit."

Why don't people say I look younger than what I am anymore??? I want that. I miss that! I won't take it for granted anymore...I promise! I don't want to be younger, I just want to look it. And I'm worried that these children I have are aging me much quicker than I'm willing to go. Don't think I won't use that college savings to get a little work done.

If only they had a college savings.

After getting home at 3:30 in the morning and getting up at 7:00, I remembered that I really am 33. I look it, I feel it, I am it. I was surprised to find myself really alert and motivated this morning. It was like a false sense of energy came over me. I showered, cleaned, made plans to go to the market today, but by noon I was zombified. If someone shot me in the face, twice, I would probably have felt about the same. While 33 may not be old, it sure as hell is too old to be getting only 3 hours of sleep.

My name is Jennifer Leathers and I'm 33 years old. And I look it.

Ouch.