Telling yourself NOT to do something makes you want it more. It has to be a scientific fact.
I did a sugar cleanse. The first day went well, except in my attempt to avoid sugar, I ate everything else. The second day was a bit more challenging. That evening I ate my weight in rice krispie treats.It has been a slippery slope ever since.
I started a budget. I did great for the first 2 weeks...I got the money a little mixed up at times, but I didn't use the debit card and that was the goal. The details are only minor. I started to slip a little in the third week, but still did okay. Last week I completely blew it. I'm still struggling to get my ass back up and on the wagon of savings. I actually just pulled myself away from online shopping to blog. I had to do something.
I wonder if someone gave me a whole bunch of money if I would not want to spend it OR if I would splurge. When I have money and set out on a mission to find something, it's never there. When I don't have money and I am not looking, these all of a sudden must haves pop up right in my face...nearly screaming at me to buy them. Besides that, I have goals in my mind of things I want. So I buy the things NOT on my mental list, and then have guilt about still not getting the goal items with this week's budgeted money. Or a friend calls and wants to do lunch. So I end up eating my money and that really pisses me off. Because then I have nothing. Physically. Which is really what's important right now.
I'm obsessed with things I can't have. The good news is that when I get them, the pride usually overrides the guilt. Until I realize I have to wait another week to get the goal items. When it comes to eating, I don't usually eat poorly so I can get over it rather quickly. I just wish I could live on water and vegetables.
Britney Spears gets $1500 a week. That sounds more doable.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Blinded by dilation
On the information sheet, it asked if I would like my eyes dilated. I told the receptionist I would have my eyes dilated if I needed it. I wasn't sure why they were asking. I read a little of the print underneath the question and it said something about my vision may be blurred for awhile after the procedure, but it didn't seem like that big of a deal, so yeah...whatever. If it needs to be done, then do it. I don't know what the big deal is.
The doctor did the exam and at the end asked if I've ever been dilated. I really don't know. I've had contacts/glasses since jr high. Surely I've been dilated before, right?
Uhhhh...not so much.
She put drops in my eyes, which apparently was the dilation.
"Uh, that kinda burns. I'm pretty sure I've never had this done before."
She says, laughing, "Yeah, it does sting."
"I can't open my eyes...it REALLY hurts. That would have been good to know before I agreed to do this."
"We aren't done yet. You need to lean back and look up again."
"For more??" And then I lean back and she puts more drops in my eyes. I could cry, and I might have been.
After, she asks me if I have sunglasses to wear, which I don't. So she reached into a drawer and pulled out a pair of paper sunglasses. These are black out, grandma, driving sunglasses.
"Is that really necessary? Do you really think I'll need those?"
"Ummm...yes."
So I fold them up and carry them out to the receptionist's desk. As I get ready to pay, I realize I don't have my debit card, but I think I have a checkbook in my car. I leave the sunglasses on the desk and walk outside. Holy bright light I can't see and I'm pretty sure the sun is melting my retinas right out of my sockets. I walk with my head down, hand blocking my face like I'm a celebrity blocking the paparazzi from taking photos of me. I grab the checkbook and go back inside. I look at the checkbook, and I'm totally blind. What I can see doesn't look like a check so I asked the lady to look and she confirmed it was a deposit slip. No checks. My debit card was at home sitting by my laptop as I did a little online shopping last night. (Oh yes...my budget is completely blown. I have lost all control and I feel pretty good about it. My purchases were unbelievably GREAT deals and I have no remorse. I actually saved hundreds of dollars if you really think about it.) Luckily, I live close so I drove home with my paper sunglasses and returned with payment for blinding me.
The lesson here is that if your eye doctor asks if you want to be dilated, always say no. It was complete misery for 4 hours. I received text messages and emails that, no matter what, I could NOT read until hours later. Braille was my only hope.
Just say no to dilation.
Monday, February 22, 2010
The mommy on the bus says, "Ew, ew, ew."
Today I went with Emma and her class to a field trip to Sea, Sand, and Stars in Orange Beach. It's at the school in OB, and has a planetarium, aquarium, and other sciencey stuff. Very cool if you're into that kind of stuff.
I. Am not.
Her teacher told me I could ride the bus with them, along with one other class, and the other parents that went on the field trip, too. I thought I was going to have a panic attack. There were 40 5 and 6 year olds on the bus, and it took a little less than 45 minutes to get there by school bus. Emma and I sat in the very back, which was good because it meant no midgets jumping up behind me, coughing, sneezing, yelling, or breathing on me. A lake of Purell couldn't have even helped me. I was nauseous immediately.
As if the bus ride wasn't bad enough, "Sea, Sand, and Stars" is full of aquariums, closed and open. I hate fish. I hate anything marine life. On a girls cruise to Jamaica one year, a friend signed us up for snorkeling. I would rather camp in a tent than swim with fish. I was the only one NOT looking at the fish, and making sure no sharks were headed our way. I waded violently to be sure the fish knew I was a moving creature and not to come close. Later I learned that sharks see that as an injured fish to prey on. Whatever. Note taken.
Everyone loved this trip. It was a really great experience for normal people. I was impressed with the knowledge of these 5 year olds regarding the planets, space, marine life, the solar system, etc. My own, even, started to name the planets to me.
"There's Mercury, Earth, Pluto, but Pluto isn't a planet anymore. And then there's Vegas and..."
"What?"
"Vegas."
"I think it's Venus."
"Oh yeah...Venus."
What's that about great minds...
I. Am not.
Her teacher told me I could ride the bus with them, along with one other class, and the other parents that went on the field trip, too. I thought I was going to have a panic attack. There were 40 5 and 6 year olds on the bus, and it took a little less than 45 minutes to get there by school bus. Emma and I sat in the very back, which was good because it meant no midgets jumping up behind me, coughing, sneezing, yelling, or breathing on me. A lake of Purell couldn't have even helped me. I was nauseous immediately.
As if the bus ride wasn't bad enough, "Sea, Sand, and Stars" is full of aquariums, closed and open. I hate fish. I hate anything marine life. On a girls cruise to Jamaica one year, a friend signed us up for snorkeling. I would rather camp in a tent than swim with fish. I was the only one NOT looking at the fish, and making sure no sharks were headed our way. I waded violently to be sure the fish knew I was a moving creature and not to come close. Later I learned that sharks see that as an injured fish to prey on. Whatever. Note taken.
Everyone loved this trip. It was a really great experience for normal people. I was impressed with the knowledge of these 5 year olds regarding the planets, space, marine life, the solar system, etc. My own, even, started to name the planets to me.
"There's Mercury, Earth, Pluto, but Pluto isn't a planet anymore. And then there's Vegas and..."
"What?"
"Vegas."
"I think it's Venus."
"Oh yeah...Venus."
What's that about great minds...
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Hoarders Non Anonymous
I have too much stuff.
I feel weighed down by it. It is smothering me. My house is constantly in disarray because there is shit everywhere. I don't think I would qualify for a hoarders episode on Oprah, but I might. No, I wouldn't.
My kids have too many toys, too many clothes, and there's not enough space. This isn't even my house anymore. It's theirs. It's like I'm trying to fight their stuff for a place for my stuff and so everyone's stuff is everywhere. So I've started to hate it.
Today I decided to go through everything and if I'm not using it, it's getting thrown out. I realize "everything" is very broad and most likely a sign that this is a task that will never end. I'm determined though.
So I started in the attic. I don't know what is up there and it's really hard to walk on 2 inch beams with a huge tote in your arms. I fell off the beams a few times and wondered if I could really fall through the ceiling...and getting the totes down the ladder was another challenge. I actually thought that I might fall down and knock myself unconscious. The garage door guy was coming over so I knew that if I did become unconscious, he would find me and everything would be okay. Except he would see my huge mess, which might be a little humiliating.
Obviously, the garage is a mess now, too. I found totes of Emma's shoes as a baby, and emptied them onto the garage floor to look through them. The number of shoes she has had in her 5 yrs of life is astonishing. I'm embarrassed at how much shit she actually has as a whole. Olivia, already being the boy I never wanted, is already showing signs of defiance so I'm expecting she will hate everything that has preceded her.
I have no problem acknowledging that I have no use for things and accepting that I should get rid of stuff. It's actually quite liberating. The problem is I don't want to throw it in the trash. I have some weird attachment disorder that prohibits me from throwing my belongings into the garbage. I may not use them anymore, but they don't deserve to be in the stinky GARBAGE. And the goodwill pretty much is the garbage, so that is not really an option either.
I'm hoping it will just take some time. Eventually, I will get sick of looking at the pile and feel better about putting it on the curb. Hopefully.
I feel weighed down by it. It is smothering me. My house is constantly in disarray because there is shit everywhere. I don't think I would qualify for a hoarders episode on Oprah, but I might. No, I wouldn't.
My kids have too many toys, too many clothes, and there's not enough space. This isn't even my house anymore. It's theirs. It's like I'm trying to fight their stuff for a place for my stuff and so everyone's stuff is everywhere. So I've started to hate it.
Today I decided to go through everything and if I'm not using it, it's getting thrown out. I realize "everything" is very broad and most likely a sign that this is a task that will never end. I'm determined though.
So I started in the attic. I don't know what is up there and it's really hard to walk on 2 inch beams with a huge tote in your arms. I fell off the beams a few times and wondered if I could really fall through the ceiling...and getting the totes down the ladder was another challenge. I actually thought that I might fall down and knock myself unconscious. The garage door guy was coming over so I knew that if I did become unconscious, he would find me and everything would be okay. Except he would see my huge mess, which might be a little humiliating.
Obviously, the garage is a mess now, too. I found totes of Emma's shoes as a baby, and emptied them onto the garage floor to look through them. The number of shoes she has had in her 5 yrs of life is astonishing. I'm embarrassed at how much shit she actually has as a whole. Olivia, already being the boy I never wanted, is already showing signs of defiance so I'm expecting she will hate everything that has preceded her.
I have no problem acknowledging that I have no use for things and accepting that I should get rid of stuff. It's actually quite liberating. The problem is I don't want to throw it in the trash. I have some weird attachment disorder that prohibits me from throwing my belongings into the garbage. I may not use them anymore, but they don't deserve to be in the stinky GARBAGE. And the goodwill pretty much is the garbage, so that is not really an option either.
I'm hoping it will just take some time. Eventually, I will get sick of looking at the pile and feel better about putting it on the curb. Hopefully.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Lost? Or organized?
About a month ago some friends and I booked a trip to Mexico. We are going in April. I haven't seen my passport for awhile so I thought I should start looking. I have been looking for it for weeks.
I thought maybe I should order a new one, but I really like looking at all the stamps of where I've been so that was an option I was not ready to accept. And, I don't have a Mexico stamp yet. Back in my day, passports weren't needed to go to Mexico.
I went through my desk, file cabinet, computer bag (three times), junk organizer thing....couldn't find it.
So this morning I went to the garage to get the ladder so I can get the suitcase down out of the closet. Maybe I left it in my rollie. As I reached for the ladder, I saw an accordion file folder thing on a shelf...in the garage. I'll just look...maybe I put it in there. I do have days where I try to organize things.
Voila!
It was in the tab marked "birth certificates/passport".
In the garage.
Organization doesn't always pay off.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
The JCP
The other day I was on a mission to find a Saints shirt for a Super Bowl party. Yes, I am a bandwagon jumper, and it's just football, so who really cares anyway. Plus, they won. So it totally paid off. And I found a t-shirt with the number 9 on it, and apparently, that guy is pretty darn good.
I really wanted Reggie Bush's shirt. He's really the only guy I know on the team and that's only because he's dating Kim Kardashian.
So, as I was driving through the shopping center, I passed by JCPenney. I've passed it many times, but have never paid attention. My mother shops there, so it's an obvious sign that I would never. Ever. It IS JCPenney. I still have flashbacks of going there as a kid and climbing into the middle of the clothes racks to hide from her while she and every sales associate in the store looked for me.
I thought it was funny. She....did not.
Anyway, as I passed by, I noticed something in the window that caught my eye. "Sephora" Huh?? There's a Sephora inside JCPenney??? No. Way.
So, I went in. Yep, there was a Sephora inside the store. Awesome. Not only was I overwhelmed with excitement about Sephora, but I was pleasantly surprised at the shopping environment at JCPenney. The lights were bright, but not fluorescenty warehouse bright, and everything looked new and, dare I say, nice. After hanging out in Sephora for as long as I could without looking suspicious, I decided to venture out and see what the rest of the store was like. If they have Sephora, it can't be too bad, right?
Well, not exactly, but not exactly not, either.
Listen. I'm telling you, the store was the nicest department store in the JCPenney/Kohl's range I have ever seen. It was clean, and organized, which isn't what I expected out of the JCP. I saw "American something" and thought for a minute they had American Apparel, but it was home decor stuff.
I took it too far. I know.
I really wanted Reggie Bush's shirt. He's really the only guy I know on the team and that's only because he's dating Kim Kardashian.
So, as I was driving through the shopping center, I passed by JCPenney. I've passed it many times, but have never paid attention. My mother shops there, so it's an obvious sign that I would never. Ever. It IS JCPenney. I still have flashbacks of going there as a kid and climbing into the middle of the clothes racks to hide from her while she and every sales associate in the store looked for me.
I thought it was funny. She....did not.
Anyway, as I passed by, I noticed something in the window that caught my eye. "Sephora" Huh?? There's a Sephora inside JCPenney??? No. Way.
So, I went in. Yep, there was a Sephora inside the store. Awesome. Not only was I overwhelmed with excitement about Sephora, but I was pleasantly surprised at the shopping environment at JCPenney. The lights were bright, but not fluorescenty warehouse bright, and everything looked new and, dare I say, nice. After hanging out in Sephora for as long as I could without looking suspicious, I decided to venture out and see what the rest of the store was like. If they have Sephora, it can't be too bad, right?
Well, not exactly, but not exactly not, either.
Listen. I'm telling you, the store was the nicest department store in the JCPenney/Kohl's range I have ever seen. It was clean, and organized, which isn't what I expected out of the JCP. I saw "American something" and thought for a minute they had American Apparel, but it was home decor stuff.
I took it too far. I know.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Budgets are not for the weak...
I'm out of my personal money for the week. I know it's only Wednesday. I actually went for broke yesterday.
I haven't even gone to Zumba this week...(and definitely won't be going tomorrow). I found a small, free strength training class, which I attended yesterday. I was way out of my league. Especially when they grabbed a Bible and started to pray at the end. I started standing up, and heard, "Let's pray."
"OH! Okay!"
I sat back down and bowed my head and crossed my fingers. Is this how people pray still?
Walking down the stairs to leave proved to be an even bigger challenge than the praying. No wonder they pray after the workout. My legs felt like cooked spaghetti and I feared tumbling my way down. I'll pray next time, too...that I can walk after the class.
Anyway, I used the debit card yesterday. Scott acted like I ran over the dog.
It caused a big fight and I really dislike him. A lot.
I think this budget may cause a divorce. And I'm actually okay with that...especially if it means I don't have to live on a budget anymore. And live with him. Because he's really ugly.
I haven't even gone to Zumba this week...(and definitely won't be going tomorrow). I found a small, free strength training class, which I attended yesterday. I was way out of my league. Especially when they grabbed a Bible and started to pray at the end. I started standing up, and heard, "Let's pray."
"OH! Okay!"
I sat back down and bowed my head and crossed my fingers. Is this how people pray still?
Walking down the stairs to leave proved to be an even bigger challenge than the praying. No wonder they pray after the workout. My legs felt like cooked spaghetti and I feared tumbling my way down. I'll pray next time, too...that I can walk after the class.
Anyway, I used the debit card yesterday. Scott acted like I ran over the dog.
It caused a big fight and I really dislike him. A lot.
I think this budget may cause a divorce. And I'm actually okay with that...especially if it means I don't have to live on a budget anymore. And live with him. Because he's really ugly.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Grammy Low-down
This year might have been the best Grammy's ever. They will never be as good as the VMA's, but they are actually getting close to being able to compete.
I don't have a favorite performance...nothing was really groundbreaking, but I did love a lot of them. Pink always comes through. I was a tad disappointed at the familiarity of her VMA performance, but she is super talented, and can sing while doing a trapeze act, so why not. I love her and will never say anything bad about her. I did wonder if anyone was freaking out about getting wet, but I'm assuming they were notified that they were in the "wet zone"...and who knows her actual location, she may have been watering the nobodies.
I am NOT a fan of Lady Gaga, but I am always wondering what she's going to do and wear. I liked her performance with Elton, she's a great singer/player, and I also realized why she usually has her face painted up. Yeesh! I didn't get the dirty faces at first, but then remembered she had jumped into a cauldron of flames...which doesn't explain Elton's dirty face. Do you think he could see through those glasses?
I'm over her, which is easy since I was never really with her to begin with.
Putting Eminem and Travis Barker on the stage together pretty much sealed the deal for me. Too bad most of it was edited. Did they really need to silence THAT much of the performance? What's the point? Still, I'm an Eminem lover so I was very happy to see him. And hear him, too. Lil Wayne was adorable at the end when he was giddy over his own performance.
Jason Mraz won three awards, and none were televised. Why????????
Stevie Nicks looked miserable singing with Taylor Swift. I'm not even sure she knew the song she was supposed to be singing. And why would she.
Speaking of Taylor...Taylor Swift wins Album of the Year? What a waste!!! Throw the whole category in the garbage can. She is a talented girl, and I've been happy for her until now. I was pissed when Wynnona Judd said she wasn't deserving of the country award she won. Why take that away from her. But album of the year at the Grammy's is a different story. I hate to be a hater (not really), but ANY of the other nominees should have won it. Except DMB.
Til the Oscars...
I don't have a favorite performance...nothing was really groundbreaking, but I did love a lot of them. Pink always comes through. I was a tad disappointed at the familiarity of her VMA performance, but she is super talented, and can sing while doing a trapeze act, so why not. I love her and will never say anything bad about her. I did wonder if anyone was freaking out about getting wet, but I'm assuming they were notified that they were in the "wet zone"...and who knows her actual location, she may have been watering the nobodies.
I am NOT a fan of Lady Gaga, but I am always wondering what she's going to do and wear. I liked her performance with Elton, she's a great singer/player, and I also realized why she usually has her face painted up. Yeesh! I didn't get the dirty faces at first, but then remembered she had jumped into a cauldron of flames...which doesn't explain Elton's dirty face. Do you think he could see through those glasses?
I'm over her, which is easy since I was never really with her to begin with.
Putting Eminem and Travis Barker on the stage together pretty much sealed the deal for me. Too bad most of it was edited. Did they really need to silence THAT much of the performance? What's the point? Still, I'm an Eminem lover so I was very happy to see him. And hear him, too. Lil Wayne was adorable at the end when he was giddy over his own performance.
Jason Mraz won three awards, and none were televised. Why????????
Stevie Nicks looked miserable singing with Taylor Swift. I'm not even sure she knew the song she was supposed to be singing. And why would she.
Speaking of Taylor...Taylor Swift wins Album of the Year? What a waste!!! Throw the whole category in the garbage can. She is a talented girl, and I've been happy for her until now. I was pissed when Wynnona Judd said she wasn't deserving of the country award she won. Why take that away from her. But album of the year at the Grammy's is a different story. I hate to be a hater (not really), but ANY of the other nominees should have won it. Except DMB.
Til the Oscars...
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