On the information sheet, it asked if I would like my eyes dilated. I told the receptionist I would have my eyes dilated if I needed it. I wasn't sure why they were asking. I read a little of the print underneath the question and it said something about my vision may be blurred for awhile after the procedure, but it didn't seem like that big of a deal, so yeah...whatever. If it needs to be done, then do it. I don't know what the big deal is.
The doctor did the exam and at the end asked if I've ever been dilated. I really don't know. I've had contacts/glasses since jr high. Surely I've been dilated before, right?
Uhhhh...not so much.
She put drops in my eyes, which apparently was the dilation.
"Uh, that kinda burns. I'm pretty sure I've never had this done before."
She says, laughing, "Yeah, it does sting."
"I can't open my eyes...it REALLY hurts. That would have been good to know before I agreed to do this."
"We aren't done yet. You need to lean back and look up again."
"For more??" And then I lean back and she puts more drops in my eyes. I could cry, and I might have been.
After, she asks me if I have sunglasses to wear, which I don't. So she reached into a drawer and pulled out a pair of paper sunglasses. These are black out, grandma, driving sunglasses.
"Is that really necessary? Do you really think I'll need those?"
"Ummm...yes."
So I fold them up and carry them out to the receptionist's desk. As I get ready to pay, I realize I don't have my debit card, but I think I have a checkbook in my car. I leave the sunglasses on the desk and walk outside. Holy bright light I can't see and I'm pretty sure the sun is melting my retinas right out of my sockets. I walk with my head down, hand blocking my face like I'm a celebrity blocking the paparazzi from taking photos of me. I grab the checkbook and go back inside. I look at the checkbook, and I'm totally blind. What I can see doesn't look like a check so I asked the lady to look and she confirmed it was a deposit slip. No checks. My debit card was at home sitting by my laptop as I did a little online shopping last night. (Oh yes...my budget is completely blown. I have lost all control and I feel pretty good about it. My purchases were unbelievably GREAT deals and I have no remorse. I actually saved hundreds of dollars if you really think about it.) Luckily, I live close so I drove home with my paper sunglasses and returned with payment for blinding me.
The lesson here is that if your eye doctor asks if you want to be dilated, always say no. It was complete misery for 4 hours. I received text messages and emails that, no matter what, I could NOT read until hours later. Braille was my only hope.
Just say no to dilation.
Maybe if you weren't an idiot, you would have worn the sunglasses?
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