A Cry For Help

I'm still addicted to television.

It's depressing, definitely pathetic, and Scott is complaining that I don't communicate very well.

That's because I don't have anything to talk about, I tell him. The stuff that goes on in my life lately isn't really real. And it's kind of embarrassing.

Now if you want to talk about the Bachelor Pad (which makes me feel dirty, and not in a good way) I have a lot to say. I hate watching this show. It's TV that makes me feel bad watching it. The only good person on that show was Gia, and they voted her off. The girls are so stupid and they trust those guys way too much. They're all pathetic and super dumb and I get a bad feeling inside when I watch it. But I continue to do so.

Master Chef? I love Gordon Ramsay so much that he has made a debut on my Top 5 Favorite Men In My Life list. And I don't even really know him. Well, possibly I do know him...he doesn't know me. (I told you it's pathetic.) I'm the biggest cheerleader for these amateur chefs. I was a little disappointed last night when they had to kill a crab by boiling it alive. I'm a vegetarian who eats seafood, but after last night, I can't even eat that anymore. If only chocolate had to be killed...

Don't get me started on those Kardashians. Once I was so mad at Kourtney for taking back that idiot loser Scott, I looked online for a way to tell her how stupid she is and that she can do better than that stupid jerk who is so obviously using her. I didn't though. I regained control and realized how ridiculous this would be.

Glee has me feeling like a teenager. I tried to get Emma into it so I could at least blame it on her, and contribute it to "mother/daughter time"...it worked for a little while, but then school got in the way. She hates school, and I'm starting to hate it, too.


And I'm afraid that people like Chelsea Handler and Jeff Lewis reinforce bad behavior and serious sarcasm by me. They make me a worse person. And I don't even really mind it.

Now I am going to go get a life.

No, I'm not.