Last week I got sick with the flu and was puking my brains out. It was painful, but a little part of my was excited about it. I don't get why people complain about getting sick. It was like a forced cleanse, or diet, at least. While I was throwing up, I was actually thinking, "Imagine the weight I'm losing. My stomach is going to be so flat. Oh my God, I can't stand my face being so close to the toilet, I could never be bulimic."
And then, the next day I couldn't eat anything except drink Gatorade. I felt horrible, but I am pretty sure my stomach shrunk and I don't want to eat as much as I did before. People should be thankful when they're sick and getting rid of all that shit you ate. And when you see it coming back up and out, you see what it's actually like in your body, and for me, it made me not want to eat. Like ice cream. Have you ever thrown up ice cream? It's the most disgusting thing to ever throw up. I can go a year without ice cream if I throw it up once.
So to all of you who got sick and blamed me, you're welcome.
It is a gift really. As they say in the devil wears prada: "I'm one stomach flu away from my goal weight." I'm actually two stomach flus away but whatever.
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