Worn and Put Away Wet

Is exactly how I feel right now. I am my own worst enemy.

I spent a tumultuous 5 days in Mexico with good girlfriends. It was one of the best trips I've had and absolutely just what I needed. The plan was 5 days of "relaxation and reflection."

It ended up being Spring Break 2010 minus all the college students.

I found myself face down in a bed of landscaped plants within the first 3 hours of my arrival in Mexico. Fast forward to that evening and I'm sitting in a Corona Bar with girls blowing whistles and pouring shots down people's throats, all while watching a booty shaking contest and "someone" getting black lips fake tattooed on her ass.

This wasn't supposed to happen. And I'm happy to say, it didn't happen again.

The days and nights were still filled with drinking and minimal eating. The Mexican bartenders became our best friends, even on a nickname basis. Our other best friends were a group of 30+ year old beer guys there on an incentive trip from their company. They were the best and worst things that happened to us.

It was all good times until someone pissed off a 5 foot Asian guy who then proceeded to jump onto a table and break a beer bottle on the floor. Mama Jodi snapped her fingers in panic at her two barefoot little poodles, Jen and Jen2, snapping and pointing, "You two! Get over here! Now!" We obeyed with our heads hung down until we realized she was leading us out the front door instead of down the corridor to our room. The drunk leading the drunker, I suppose.

My six years of Spanish came through for me/us the longer we were there. Jen2 thought that the Spanish language consisted of just adding an "o" to the end of every English word. The taxi rides were quite amusing as Mama Jodi and I observed from the back seat. "Muy handsome-o!" "Free-o?" Hmm...not so much.

My body is resisting repositioning itself into normal life mode. As I type, Emma is watching Knocked Up and Olivia is eating dog food. All I really want is to lay by the pool with my ipod, read my book, drink (water, obviously), and talk to my friends in person.

I should have married Jay-Z.