Olivia and I arrived a little early today so she was playing on a tree stump and jumping off it and climbing back on. I look back at the courtyard and Emma is sitting on the bench with her cute little red headed girlfriend who is just about the sweetest little manner acknowledging Southern Belle you can ever imagine. Everything is, "Yes, ma'am, No ma'am", etc. So I shout to Emma, "Lou! Hi! Let's go!"She looks at me, grins a tiny bit, and shouts back, "You're not my mom." And goes back to talking to her friend. Her friend, who knows me well, looks at me, confused, and smiles sweetly like she doesn't know what to do or why Emma is pretending to not know me..
"Okay, Emma...funny...come on!"
"You're not my mom! Cute baby!" And looks away.
The lady next to me shoots me a sympathetic grin. I smile back. "Really? I'm not your mom? Okay, well I hope someone comes to get you!"
"Hey Lady, I like your baby!"
"Yeah, she's my favorite child. It's not funny anymore. Come on!" Truthfully, I had mixed feelings of pride (that she came up with this and followed through so naturally) and annoyance (that she carried on for so long). I didn't even look to see what the other parents were doing. They all know me and know she's mine so no one was calling the police or anything. However, calling me "Lady" is probably a cardinal sin down here. Kids refer to their parents and other adults as "Sir" or "Ma'am". Emma called me "ma'am" once by accident and we both looked at each other with confusion and then laughter.
The lady looks at me and says, "She still isn't coming? Oh my goodness."
"Yeah, she's a funny one. That's okay. I'm going to beat her when she gets out here." Which reminds me that I probably need to stop threatening to beat my children in public.
So I walk away in an attempt to give her a little scare. I look back to see Olivia beating on a little boy twice her size. He is on the stump and she is swinging at him to get him off.
Good God. Shoot me dead.
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